Mad Cow Culture: Bone to Pick

November 11, 2003

Bone to Pick

Dr. Jeremiah Peele, immunologist, psychologist, neurologist, and man-about-town at the University of Kent in Cantebury, England, recently gave a speech on the ramifications of mad cow disease to the remaining, elderly members of the Bath Chapter of the "Calamnity Janes," representing women who lost their husbands during the trench warfare of World War I. The five women in attendance gave Dr. Peele a full-throated "hip, hip, hooray" (followed by "he's a jolly good fellow) for his bold and insightful paper: "Bones to Pick: Why Can't the French and British Just Get Along." (This paper will be published in the Journal of Anglo-French Cultural Crosscurrents in May 2005 under the name: "Frogs and Limies: Why Two Great Nations Swallow Their Young.).

Peele's paper grew out of research he conducted during the early 1990's on the ravages of mad cow disease which has killed dozens of people in the UK. He was part of the team that discovered the feeding of slaughterhouse cow scraps, especially spinal cords, to other cows, could infect a herd and be transferred to humans. This brain wasting disease has been well-documented. Though pleased with the progress British scientists have made, Peele became interested in the psychological and cultural implications of mad cow disease. He wondered, could mad cow be responsible for the uneasy alliance between the French and English dating back to Agincourt?

His research took him to the Center for Bone History and Research at the University of Leeds. Among other thing the Bone Center traces the cross-border shipments of human and animal bones from medieval time to the present. He thought Shakespeare's famous line--"This green and pleasant land bought with the bone rich French dead"--held a clue. Peele wondered: did the British really use the French as fertilizer or was the Bard taking poetic license?

At the Bone Center Peele discovered that as early as the 11th century--after the Norman invasion--native Britons living around Hythe, Kent near the English Channel recorded in church logs that the lands adjacent to Norman French graveyards were more lush and green than the rest of the English countryside. A local priest gave a sermon in 1304 that suggested "this upward flowering of French rot proved that death is the natural state for the invader."

This "graveyard greening" phenomenon entered the British imagination and local lore suggested the French were so well-fed that even the worms couldn't keep up with their rotting bodies. Dr. Peele discovered in 15th century documents results of alchemical experiments that tried to use soil from the French graveyards as the elixir for turning base metals into gold. The alchemists only managed to stink up the place, probably because they were using still decaying human remains. A senior alchemist wrote, "This foul odor is worse than a bucket of long-dead frogs." Thus the origin of the name lower class British and soccer louts use to describe the French.

Peele thought this cultural anthropology was interesting but not instructive. He then went to Newcastle that was the port of call for many French vessels during the Middle Ages and Elizabethan periods. There he found Bills of Laden that recorded a very brisk French bone trade starting soon after the Battle of Agincourt and lasting well into the 18th century. After a year of detective work he discovered a seaman from Hythe and its lush French graveyards started bringing French bones back as souvenirs. Legend has it than anywhere these bones were planted, crop yield would be doubled.

When this news got out, the British sent raiding parties to French graveyards, selling their bone loot throughout Britain. Soon wars would be fought to provide the bones for future crops. The British raided other countries--Ireland, present-day Denmark, and Germany--but the bones did nothing for the potato crops. Peele found that James Ernest, an early 17th century British scientist, discovered that French bones were rich in ingredients that were beneficial to British soil (he was close to discovering calcium). Thus the bone raids became an instrument of British policy. Shakespeare mentions this in in his Henry cycle, Part V: "Tis patriotic gore we feed the mob but the throne knows French bones far more than blood make the British giddy."

Peele did not think this suggested cannibalism, as there is no evidence of the British devouring the French after victory (or vice-versa). Dr. Peele thinks Shakespeare is referring both to the myth and the national policy. Wars were not fought for glory but for French bones.

The researcher couldn't be certain but he estimates that hundreds of thousands of kilograms of French bones were taken from France, either legally or illegally, and sprinkled as powder on all arable areas of Britain. In short, "This green and plesant land" was a gift from the French. In a way Britain has France in its soil and soul.

Dr. Peele admits that what follows is speculation based on historical research. No cultural historian has ever fully explained why the French and English are always at odds. Certainly the two countries have had a long history wars, but so has most of Europe. Why, for example, is Germany closer to France today than Britain, even after the horrors of the two world wars?

"We have to look elsewhere for answers. It is fact that French remains became the backbone of English agriculture, so to speak. One can argue that there was some kind of genetic exchange and what the British actually consumed, became their shadow side. In other words, you are what you eat and you often hate what you are and hate what you eat.

"It's a reach, of course, but I speculate the British dislike the French because they dislike something in themselves. Let's face it; the British have never been known as a race of lovers. They remain cold out of spite toward the French.

"By the way, the French are hardly immune. They likewise see parts of themselves in their British cousins. Unconsciously they project this sophisticated French ideal--galant, worldly, and wise--and discover in the daylight a chip-munching Brit washing down his pub food with liters of beer. This would be enough to send any soul into therapy. Please note that, as tensions between the two countries increase, so do the suicide rates. This is natural. As part of a person dies, he wants to kill the other part."

Dr. Peele suggests that the French and British acknowledge this history and lineage. "Obviously the French are in the British psyche. Just as surely, the British are in the French psyche and not just during the soccer season. I need to do more research, but I think the British, who have left many in France, have made a lasting contribution to French Champagne and the best Bordeauxs. The British might not like wine but they have unwittingly contributed to the lands that make France famous."

Dr. Peele's suggestion--that in light of their history, the two countries merge, has not been well-received on either side of the Channel. The "Daily Mirror, a British tabloid, wrote that "We knew there was a reason we didn't eat frog legs. All along we thought it was the smell. We are happy to learn it is our Shadow Side, which also smells."

No word yet from Le Monde.

Posted by Chuck at November 11, 2003 12:57 PM | TrackBack

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Soma is a combination of Aspirin, Carisoprodol, and Codeine. Aspirin is an anti inflammatory pain reliever, Carisoprodol is muscle relaxant, and Codeine is narcotic analgesic (pain reliever). Soma is used, along with rest and physical therapy, to treat injuries and other painful muscular conditions.

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Flexeril is a muscle relaxant prescribed to relieve muscle spasms resulting from injuries such as sprains, strains, or pulls. Flexeril, when combined with rest and physical therapy, provides relief of muscular stiffness and pain. Improvement is manifested by relief of muscle spasm and its associated signs and symptoms, namely, pain, tenderness, limitation of motion, and restriction in activities of daily living.

Skelaxin is a muscle relaxant. Skelaxin works by blocking nerve impulses (or pain sensations) that are sent to your brain. Skelaxin is used, along with rest and physical therapy, to treat injuries and other painful muscular conditions.

Zanaflex is a muscle relaxant which works by blocking nerve impulses (or pain sensations) that are sent to your brain. Zanaflex is used to treat increased muscle tone associated with spasticity.

Cyclobenzaprine is the generic form of Flexeril. Cyclobenzaprine is a skeletal muscle relaxant. Cyclobenzaprine relieves muscle spasms of local origin but is not effective in spasms which originate from diseases in the brain or spinal cord.

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Butalbital and acetaminophen (byoo-TAL-bi-tal and a-seat-a-MIN-oh-fen) combination is a pain reliever and relaxant. It is used to treat tension headaches. Butalbital belongs to the group of medicines called barbiturates (bar-BI-tyoo-rates) . Barbiturates act in the central nervous system (CNS) to produce their effects. When you take butalbital for a long time, your body may get used to it so that larger amounts are needed to produce the same effects. This is called tolerance to the medicine. Als