The Internet is thick with theories regarding who put Ricin in the august Senate chambers. Trucktalk.com suggests their kin, upset with the administration policy on immigration trucks (amnesty for trucks that can demonstrate better-than-average fuel economies over the last decade) has upset some goodoleboy truckers who wanted to remind the government that Ricin spelled backwards is family. Augustisthemonth.com says nothing of consequence happens in the other eleven months, so that theory doesn't hold water. And April is certainly not the cruelest month, no matter what the poet says.
Wilderthanthat.com suggests this is a Republican plot. Sensing the Bush administration (and the Congress) is being caught in one lie after the other, some Watergate-like operatives planted the substance in Senator Frisk's office, hoping for a sympathy backlash. The irony, this web site suggests, is this Ricin came from Iraq and was trucked out by VP Cheney's old company Howcanwebuythatstan. The gasoline for this voyage cost more than the chemical. The administration denied it was looking for sympathy. To prove its point the entire Bush cabinet went to church and prayed for the bad guys.
Wetbehindtheears.com thinks the Ricin plant was a drug sale gone wrong. As wilderthanthat.com reported in 2003, 17% of Congress use cocaine or other illegal drugs. The rest are heavily into prescription medicine and oppose the criminal prosecution of Russ Limburger. Wetbehind suggests the Senate leader was looking for a fix because he soon will be indicted by a Special Proscecutor for participating in the alleged bribery of Democrats during the debate on the Medicare prescription bill. Youain'tseennothingyet.com has already asserted that most of the Congress was on drugs when the Iraq resolution passed. Senator Bird, quoting at length from Shakespeare's Coriolanus and especially from the blood-soaked, slash and burn Webster plays denies he participated in such behavior and also denies he was asleep.
Morebirdseed.com says the other sites are barking up the wrong tree. The chemical plant in Frisk's office was actually an inside job by a postal worker who went postal because he opposed recent Federal policy that called for mail carriers to get painful rabies shots in case they are bitten by a dog. The Post Office argued that it was much more cost effective to inconvenience mail carriers than suffer the multi-billion dollar legal claims from people who thought the carriers' outfits, actions, and accents spooked their beloved pets and prompted a completely understandable response. Birdbrain.com adds that the postal worker is probably of Middle Eastern extract, trained for a summer in thatotherstan, and has taken driving lessons. He plans to drive a fuel-laden Mexican immigrant truck, complete with NAFTA approval, down Pennsylvania Avenue while the government is examing the Ricin in its navel. Which is exactly what Trucktalk.com warned about during the NAFTA debate.
My friends. You know we're hearing a lot about Mad Cow Disease. That's when the breeders feed the same slop to cows that we get in Harlem. We call it sloppy seconds.
Frankly, I feel more sympathy for the cows than the people who have died from this disease. American slaughter seven million cows a year so the rich can get the choice cut. We get the hind tit, as they say in South Carolina. Sure, us Blacks eat a lot of hamburgers because it's cheap food and there's something addictive about this food. I was sorrow to hear the Bronx judge threw out of case by Black teenagers who got fat on a burgers-only diet. These girls couldn't stop themselves. Actually, I think Mad cow disease could be another white conspiracy. We know that the bulk of fast food is eaten by ethnic groups. We also know that hamburgers represent the low-end of the meat cut--it's where a lot of slaughterhouse garbage is dumped. Could this be another conspiracy like selling cocaine in the ghetto. We already know who had a role in introducing HIV into our community.
You know, the country gets all excited when we find a Mad Cow in Washington state. This gives the French a chance to poke fun at our arrogance, which we deserve. But all this chatter about the beef is missing the real point.
Let me be clear. As sure as I am that Ms. Brawley told the truth, I am sure there is a Mad Cow disease. But I think it's more of a cultural or racial disease than a physical one. We have made cows cannibals, forcing them to eat themselves. And god knows what is happening to the poor, illegal Mexican immigrants who are forced to work in the slaughterhouses.
The cows are not cannibals; man is. Or should we say, the white man is. For most of his history he has been gobbling up people of color. He has forced once-proud Indians to clean toilets in Conneticut casinos. We know how hard he tries to keep us in the ghetto, which Elvis didn't understand either.
The white man is like the mythological Titan which destroys everything around it and eventually destroys itself. His has no regard for the sanctity of Life. If he was really God-fearing, he wouldn't feed animals the remains of his brothers and sisters or ship their burnt-out carcases to Harlem. This Republican Titan will kill its own to gain more power. By shpping so many jobs to China America is mortgaging the future of its young. The debt we are running up by buying cheap good overseas is another payment on the mortgage. The Big Money Titan is ruining our land, our people, and our hope. He is especially hard on the Black population.
That is why Mad Cow disease is a beautiful metaphor for the cannibalistic soul of the white man. He takes the best cuts of life, contaminates the rest and ships it to 125th street. Every day he feeds us a little poison. He takes our money to fuel his Titanic GDP and takes a little bit of our life, liberty and culture.
The Black and Latino populations are major foces fueling the US economy. Without us the economy would stop. I don't mean to bring the house down on ourselves. That would be suicide. I want to suggest we stop eating hamburgers, Southern Fried chicken, and any food that have been overly processed. You see, these foods are killing us, taking an average 30% of our weekly wages, and making us fat but not happy.
The way to counter this white man's disease is through our money and our imagination. Let's stop fueling the Man's Titanic Greed. Let's stop ruining our health.
Let's imagine our lean and clean ancestors who were the first beautiful people.
Let's stop consuming the Man's Fast Food and Fast Booze.
I lost 40-pounds in prison--and that didn't include the haircut.
My brothers and sisters, I urge you to take the Pledge.
(The sound of wild applause)
Mary Globo, CEO of Globo Synergies, which is closely tied to the Democratic party, suggests we are entering another period of the Big Lie, as dangerous as anything trumped up by Nazi Germany.
Ms. Globo has no apologies for such remarks and considers them personal rather than political. "Just how stupid can the American people be," she asks. "It is very clear the Bush administration lied about Iraq. Actually, it was worse than that. There is compelling evidence that Bush wanted to go into Iraq on Day 1 of his administration."
"Moreover," Globo adds, "there is absolutely no evidence that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. That too was a lie that the administration has spun in countless ways. Now they are citing vague weapon plans or the possible idea of a plan or a dream that a scientist might have had. This is preposterous. And our nightmare.
"To make matters worse the administration has been very slow to agree to an investigation. And what they propose seems vague. If anything calls for an Independent Prosecutor it's the Iraq War. We have lost more than 500 young men and women. Many thousands have been seriously injured--reliable numbers are not provided by the government."
Ms. Globo suggests the Bush administration, feeling heady due to high poll numbers after 9/11, decided to use this good will and invade Iraq. "The administration placed this invasion in the context of the war on terror," she argues, a policy that she considers a "lie and a fraud. Bush used up the enormous good will from the American people and the world to chase a personal vendetta. We could have contained Saddam for years. He had no WMD, no punch, no army of consequence. He was absolutely no threat to America. The Bush administration lied to the American people."
The administration is very interested in the war of terror, but according to Globo, is "dragging its feet on the investigation into the causes. If ever America needed an unbiased investigation of cause, it is the events of 9/11. The Bush administration insults the American people and those we have lost. Who is still not asking questions as to why so many Saudi men were among the hijackers. Obviously, they had easy access to America. And does America know that is still the case?"
Patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel. Ms. Globo would correct that adage and say "patriotism wrapped in religion is the best, last refuge of the scoundrel "because that is exactly what the Bush administration has done. It's always God this and God that, as if our policy is somehow anointed from Above. The administration talks of family values but is gutting family health and social programs to pay for a war that is unnecessary and immoral. The administration continues to pursue policies that reward the rich and sends American jobs overseas at the expense of the American worker.
"Everything this adminstration does is to protect the rich. The big tax cuts benefits the wealthy. Our rejection of international dietary standards benefits the big food producers. The fiscal belt tightening at the moment is at the expense of the poor."
Even an ostensibly good policy, Globo adds, such as the recent Medicare Prescription bill, "is a fraud. There is good evidence that at least one Democrat was offered a bribe to change his vote. And the administration badly underestimated the real costs of the programs. They act as if this isn't their money."
Ms. Globo has started to campaign to impeach President Bush. "The Republicans were quick to bring impeachment charges against Clinton for sexual misconduct. How much more damaging is a President that takes us to war under false prestenses, lies about it, and refuses to allow completely independent investigations of 9/11, the Iraq War and the failure of intelligence. His policies constitute an impeachable offense.
"The Gulf of Tonkin resolution was a fraud to influence American public opinion. It worked for awhile. The Iraq resolution was a similar fraud that had a similar effect. This policy was presented to a nation full of anger and grief. No wonder we fell for their trick. Now our grief has subsided and we are wondering what we got ourselves into. We were tricked by the hijackers and have been tricked again by this administration."
She invites interested parties to contact her at globo@globosyn.com