The Bush administration faces it's first genuine foreign policy crisis. Not the war in Iraq, not Saudi complicity in 9/11, nor the Bin Laden no show. The crisis centers around the BUsh daughters who have been very open about practicing Falun Gong (Falun Dafa), an ancient Chinese practice of meditation, gentle exercises, and the cultivation of truthfulness, compassion and tolerance.
To a Westerner this might seem like a harmless pursuit, but to Chinese authorities, Falun Gong is anathema. Accordingly, authorities have reportedly jailed, harassed, and killed hundreds of thousands of practitioners. The US government has known about these practices but have kept quiet because Wal-Mart gets 30% of is merchandize from China.
To a casual observer this seems like massive overreaction on the part of Chinese authorities. After all, the Gongers are not preaching revolution. Rather, they preach self-discipline in a country that is fast leaving most of its people behind in disease and poverty. What bothers the Communists is that this movement has grown so fast and might in time threaten the state, which is probably nonsence and paranoia. The government is not inclined to accept the Gongers as a just compensation for the soulless, spiritless, capitalistic place the country has become. Isn't one Arkansas enough?
Recent American administrations have ignored persecution of the Gongers because China is just too important a trading partner. After all, where else can you get ten cent chopsticks turned out by the millions by expert prisoners working for slave wages--and loving it.
But the US can no longer stay on the sidelines after the Bush daughters were shown on the cover of Celebrity Soup Magazines dressed in traditional Chinese garb, holding chopsticks at the ready, and saying, "We will go to the mat for the Falun Gongers." The inside coverage is quite tame, showing the daughters in deep meditation after speaking and moving their lips at the Republican Convention in New York.
That was enough to set China on its toes. US Ambassador Li Chi demanded an explanation and apology from the Bush administration, threating a diplomatic riff. The White House press secretary downplayed the incident, noting that he doesn't comment on the Bush daughters who were exercising their constitutional rights.
The comment inflamed the Chinese even more, and they intimated that unless the White House apologized, the Falun Gong would suffer even harsher consequences. The White House said it had forbiden the Gongers from sleeping in the Lincoln bedroom. Not enough, said Beijing. The Gongers would not be given a national holiday in the US! Not enough said Shanghai. The Gongers would not be allowed to participate in the don't ask/don't tell policy if they were in the military. Not enough, said Chongqing. The Gongers would no longer get seats at the 50-yard line during Notre Dame football games. Tiring of what they considered the runaround, Beijing said the White House response is as feeble as its Iraq policy. The White House took umbridge and said the Chinese should stick to their chopsticks. Beijing raised the ante and threatened to invade Taiwan. Just for spite it invaded Tibet again. China threatened new detente with North Korea. The US moved all its warships into the South China Sea. Wal-mart objected to the interruption of trade. The countries are on the brink.
Getting wind of this brinkmanship, Britney Spiers became a convert to the Falun Gong movement, had a giant panda tattoed on he bum, and sang Chinese opera outside the Chinese consultate in New York.
The Chinese begged for mercy.
In a startling move the Soros Foundation has announced that it will donate immediately copies of S.I. Hayakawa's "Language in Thought and Action" to every national state, city, local and municipal government employees starting with President Bush. The foundation will also donate the book to every high school and college student in the US, every girl and boy scout, every altar boy, every rubbish collector, every police and fireman and woman, every donut shop operator, every dog walker, every retiree, every teacher, every lame balloon man, every will-of-the-whisp, every user of HOVER lanes, every girl named Britney, every boy named Michael, every Catholic, every Protestant, every Jew, every Muslin, and everyone else.
The Soros press release says that the objective of the massive giveway is "to improve the political discourse during a political season when language is under assault."
The Hayakawa book, written by the late California US senator, has long been popular in freshman college English classes. In large the book urges readers to be wary of political discourse, the use of charged works, judgements reported as facts, and the inevitable run up the language abstraction tree to love of god and country.
Professor Benson Hurst, Director of the Language and Semantics Lab at Indiana University of Pennsylvania (Indiana, Pa), thinks the Soros gift is a god send. "We use the Hayakawa book at the university and I've always been struck by the clarity of something written more than forty years ago. One reason for this, I think, is that Sam Hayakawa lived through the period of Japanese internment in California after Pearl Harbor. He knew something about the bogey man. he called this: the little man who wasn't there. That is, we have an idea in our head that people from other races and ethic groups have certain attributes or that the 9/11 hijackers were from Iraq though there was absolutely no connection. Hayakawa had to live fighting off the "sneaky Jap" notion--he was a native born American citizen.
"The book should be useful to supporters and foes of the war in Iraq. The chapter on two-valued orientation is especially useful. More and more we are beginning to hear remarks (and see bumper stickers), America--love it or leave, my country right or wrong, and the like. The remarks assume that there is no middle posiiton; that people can't be patriots if they don't support the war in Iraq.
"Patriotism has been called the last refuge of the scoundrel. This book will remind readers that they should be wary of anyone who too easily rushes to patriotism. We saw far too much of that at the Democratic convention. The Republicans have mastered the art of abstraction, linking 9/11 with freedom, patriotism, and pre-emptive wars.
"The book will also remind readers that we should be careful about bringing god into the argument. Islamic terrorists have done that and we need to face that head on. But, though we keep our Christian god on the sidelines, the god is still invoked. Hayakawa would be very concerned about linking religion, democracy, and war.
He would also be very concerned about how the word terrorism or terrrorist has become the code word for anything the current administratiin opposes. The Patriot Act can be interpreted in a way that makes normal political protest an act of terrorism. This is a very dangerous trend."
The White House applauded any effort by a Russian-born Democrat who wants to unseat the president to buy public discouse.
The Kansas City nude widowers' club announced that the Haykawa book would be on their fall reading list.
The New York Municipal Union, a Kerry supporter, announced that it did not want to find any of the Hayakawa books in the city's garbage.
America is finally beginning to ask why President Bush and his associates have been so critical of John Kerry's Vietnam War record. After all, Kerry volunteered, saw combat, was wounded and was awarded medals. To be sure, a lot of medals were awarded during this police action but you had to be at the war to dance.
On the other hand, President Bush used his father's influence to keep him out of Vietnam. Recent news reports indicate that Bush was basically AWOL for much of his National Guard service in Texas. He even took a leave of absence to help a friend plan his daughter's wedding. Bush has no apologies for this action, Rather, he suggests deserting his military post for a wedding meant he was in favor of family values.
Nor does Bush apologize for taking a National Guard paycheck he hadn't earned--military men call this "backing into the payline." Bush the Younger says his family paid enough in taxes to keep the National Guard afloat and what he earned was hardly beer money. He still backs into the payline but doesn't drink beer.
Psychologist Clarence Crawford, who teaches forensics at Texas Tech, says "In Texas it is enough to dress the part without participating in the actual events. Look at all the men wearing cowboy boots and hats and carrying guns in Texas. Most of it's for show. If these guys saw a rattler, they'd freeze.
"Remember when Bush landed on the aircraft carrier in his flight suit and saluted under a Mission Accomplished banner. To Bush this was the real thing, the John Wayne moment, everything carefully scripted and choreographed.
"This is how Bush and Cheney view the war in Iraq. We've lost 1,000 soldiers and God knows how many wounded. Insurgents have taken control of most of the country. Yet the president and his team are in absolute denial.
"One reason for this is that Bush and Cheney have little or no knowledge of combat. Bush avoided Vietnam and Cheney ducked service by getting five college deferments. War is not a reality to these men; it's a political instrument to get them both re-elected.
"They figured Irag would be a walk in the park--and it was for the first few months. These men did absolutely no planning for the aftermath of the war. Forget Bill Clinton's transgressions; Bush and Cheney should be impeached for lying to the American people. The war has been a Big Lie from the beginning. Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11. There are no WMDs. There was no actionable Al Queda/Iraq connection. Moreover, even when faced with the facts Bush refuses to admit he made a mistake.
"He is deeply in unreality and denial. He attacks Kerry because his own service record is so hollow and weak. Remember he attacked McCain. Real valor makes him feel small so he must besmirch the face of courage.
"Bush has little to offer the country except his War on Terror, which he has largely ignored. We have spent $200 million and 1,000 young lives on a war that has spawned more terrorism. Afghanistan, a real hell-hole of terror, has received scant American attention or money.
"Irag was the inevitable target because it was easy picking, it avenged an attack on Bush's father, it showed the president was bold and warlike. Bush assumed landing in Irag was like landing on a carrier and that everything would be perfectly staged.
"For him terrorism is a useful term and covers just about everything. He and Cheney have come close to calling Kerry a terrorist. Those protesting the Republican convention were all potential terrorists. His adminsitration has called abortion advocates "terrorists against life." Cheney has called people who have argued against the Patriot Act "defenders of the terrorist cause."
Cheney has suggested those who vote for Kerry are in effect supporters of terrorism.
"These remarks are totally unacceptable, unwise, untrue, and dangerous. And the remarks say an awful lot about the state of mind of the presidency. There is a bunker mentality that sees every opponent or obstacle as terror-related. The presidency is in a dangerous psychological state.
"As a psychologist I suggest that this administration, so long ruled by political props, theater, and the accoutrements of power, might be losing its collective mind and be badly in need of therapy.
"From a psychological point of view unbridled sex in the White House is much more desirable than denial, distorted language, tortured syntax, name calling, and sacrificing the youth, honor and treasury of the country.
"A wise man wrote that a renewal of a country must begin with a renewal of its language."
The White House refused comment on these remarks but announced President Bush will visit Vietnam shortly to announce another chapter in his war on terror.