International Correspondent Price Charlie looks beyond all the food scares in Europe to the time Disney will own the heart and soul of Britain, the country in love with Mickey Mouse

Only a dunce could have failed to take notice of the plague of food crises
that recently have struck Europe and this green and pleasant land. I am not
even referring to the Mad Cow disease which, as we all know, was blown out
of proportion by the Europeans who were jealous over the superior cut of
British beef.

I am referring to the Coke scare that have left the Belgium's and French in
utter deprivation.  And to the practice of feeding chickens cancerous
dioxins to get them to market quicker. It is surely no coincidence that
these events have taken place largely in Belgium. This is not surprising, of
course. We know all too well how corrupt the Belgium police and government
are. 
 
But this is too facile a response. After all, no one unduly criticized the
Dutch when 10 million pigs were murdered in 1997 to wipe out contagious
swine fever. Everyone knows that guns kills people-not rampant pig flu. The
Dutch were certainly not to blame. There were simply too many pigs packed
too tightly together in a country where you can't turn around without
bumping into some animal or dike.

As incompetent as some of our European friends are, I am afraid the blame
rests squarely at the feet of large corporations that cut corners to get
product to market quicker. These companies pretty much own Europe. Consider
that McDonald GNP is greater than that of Belgium. Coke sells more bottles
of soda in France that France sells wine around the globe. Thank goodness
the U.K. is not under some goose-stepping corporate heel.

Quite the contrary. Disney owns the soul of the British and we generously
embrace this theatre. Disney is drama and high art and I have absolutely no
objection to the company developing a massive theme part from Brighton to
Southend. No more mucking around shabby museums for the British. No need.
Disney will replicate our long history of wars and stupidities, all with the
charm and grace that you find in Florida. 

And the food will be perfect. It will be even, flat and tasteless, just the
menu the British enjoy.
   
Mickey Mouse.