Efforts by a generous Swiss nation to send cows to Kosovo has met with a storm of protest from countries who know something about forced migration.

Swiss farmers have recently sent 61 cows to Kosovo to help rebuild the herds
napalmed during Nato's righteous bombing of Serbia's elite republican guard.
This is the first phase of the "Cows for Kosovo" program. By next spring 500
Swiss cows will be munching burnt grass in the western region of Kosovo.

When asked the reason the usually neutral and tight-fisted Swiss would spend
$1.3 million on cows for a country, so undernourished, it will likely send
the beasts right to the slaughterhouse, Dr. Uran Moss was sanguine. "I'd
rather give a man a fishing pole than a fish, but that was out of the
question. Do you know the price of titanium poles these days?"

'Moreover," Dr. Moss continued, "we thought this was the right thing to do
after all the negative publicity we got for holding refugee monies for
safekeeping during World War II. Cows are the universal symbol of peace and
contentment. Who could argue with such benevolence?"

There is one organization already up-in-arms about this transfer of cow.
SACK (Society Against Cows to Kosovo)  has already petitioned a Bern
tribunal to stop this injustice. "To take cows from the sweet-smelling
mountains pastures above Lausanne," says spokesperson  Andy Mandy, "and drop
them in the battle-scared fields of Kosovo, is a bloody injustice. Cows have
feelings, a sense of place, and a longing to be with their own kind."

"Frankly," Andy Mandy adds," I consider this a form of ethnic cleansing. Why
should cows be forced against their will to leave happy pastures and travel
in crowded boxcars to an unfriendly land where people are still killing each
other?"  

SACK plans to take its case to the World Court at The Hague where judges
have traditionally taken a dim view of forced migration.

It's a safe bet that the court will come down on the side of the cows. After
all, didn't the same body recently rule that lemmings had a right to legal
advice before the final plunge.