Dressing Downs The Ladies Knitting Club of Rambleberry, England, a charming village on the outskirts of Leeds, has come up with a novel plan to raise money. To cover the expenses of their husbands' trip to the Miniature Darts Championship in Walla Walla, Washington, the ladies have posed nude for a calendar. The calendar sales have been an enormous successes, generating more than a million dollars in less than three months. Moreover, the Rambleberry Ladies have set up a dot com company to sell place mats, napkins, and used furniture. Mrs. Jane Pondleworth, club chairman, said they expect to go public soon. The twenty 50-something women who posed for the calendar were not exactly stark naked. They covered strategic body part with peacock feathers, pearls, and throw rugs. After all, Mrs. Pondleworth said, "we are not hussies. This is a one-time venture and, at our age, we never expect to be naked again." Their husbands, thrilled with their first-classed passage to the states, are solidly behind their wives. Said Mr. Pondleworth, "If I can travel in style, Jane can undress for the postman." Although the local Anglican minister has beat the morality drum, most people interviewed applaud these gutsy ladies. In fact, imitation does seem to be the finest form of flattery. All of a sudden, Rambleberry is filthy with naked calendars, as the British say. The local mountain bike club has posed naked to raise money for inner city Leeds youth who don't have spare tires. The Rambleberry Moss Society, largely comprised of WWI veterans, has displayed what's left of them in the interest of saving the moss threatened by mountain bikers. For some folk, this rampant commercialism has gotten out of hand. To protest this practice and a proliferation of Internet sites such as nakedinthemosss.com, Farmer Jeremy Brittle has decided to dress his Holsteins in Sunday attire, as if they are on the way to church. Essentially, he slips a large bag over the animal's head and cinches it underneath, as you would a horse. "Sometimes the udders get in the way," he acknowledges. "I tend to go with polka dot for the cows, basic black for the bulls, and an in-between pink for the steers," he says. "I must admit they are quite a sight. Actually, it doesn't seem to bother them much. Helps keep the flies off." Mr. Brittle's fashion show has created its own problems. Reporters from all over the world have descended on Rambleberry to photograph the event. Mr. Brittle has added to the interest by putting veal in blue baby clothes, which are removed right before slaughter. There seems no end to the Brittle show. Representatives from Ralph Lauren-UK are considering using Brittle's 50-animal herd to make a larger fashion statement, in conjunction with Fashion Week In Milan, London, Paris and New York . Brittle is even thinking about constructing a mud and hay laced runway for the animals to strut down. "If you look closely," he notes," you will see that cows indeed have a kind of milky strut. And these ladies have no fear of large breasts." What began as a protest now has become a Brittle mission of sorts. After researching the web, he remarked, "I was dumbfounded by all the skinny models on display. What kind of example is this for our daughters. I am proud of our cows who weight more than a short ton." Brittle now feels he is standing up for all the full-figured women, especially around Leeds. "If God didn't women to have hips," Brittle remarked to a reporter from Burma, "He wouldn't have given us cows."
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