The new French cultural Maginot line is proving just as porous as the first one. But that hasn't stopped the authorities from fining those who trespass on language, style and culture--especially Americans.

                                                                    French
Fried Beef



The essential narrative of post-W.W.II France can best be described as an
effort to construct a cultural Maginot Line to keep out all things American.

This new Maginot Line is as porous, however, as the first one that let the
Germans in by the hundredweight. But France keeps trying.

Last year the Paris Institute of Diction outlawed all Americanism and fined
anyone caught red-handed. Word like "shucks," "your mother," and "jive
turkey" contributed about one billion franc to the treasury-a badly needed
infusion after the collapse of the euro.

Another campaign, instigated by the Paris Institute of Ultimate Style,
addressed the visual insult delivered by badly dressed American tourists.
Police were particularly on the lookout for tourists who mixed plaids and
stripes with abandon. Overweight people on Bermuda shorts and cheap cameras
were also a target. Though not as lucrative as the diction campaign, this
effort did net 200 million francs, which was just about enough to clear the
Seine of condoms discarded, according to Condom Watch, largely by Americans.

The latest campaign against American culture is being waged by McDonald's
France against its parent company in the US. Newspaper and television ads
take potshots at Americans and the questionable sources of their
food-hormone-treated beef, genetically modified crops, and mass produced
vegetables.

The objective of the ads is obvious enough. McDonald's France wants to
distance itself from America because in Europe contaminated and manufactured
food is a very big deal.

What has drawn criticism is the caricature of Americans. The Yanks are
depicted as fat, badly dressed, unshaven men who mix plaid and stripes and
complain that McDonald's France serves salads. One cow-faced American is
astonished that the French actually eat produce that comes directly from the
farm-rather than the factory. Another horse-faced farmer fumed that it was
against nature to spread foie Gras on hamburgers.

McDonald's France is not backing down. It has committed to brining culture
and grace into outlets in France. Starting in the New Year wine will be
offered free of change with purchase of two Big Macs and double-fries. 

Customers will also be able to watch actual videotapes of the
slaughterhouse. In effect, buyers will see their animal slaughtered. "We
want everyone to know where the meat is coming from," said Patrick Videau,"
chairman of McDonald's France.

Customers will be able to order parts of the cow that have not been
processed into hamburgers, dog food, and school lunches. Ears will be
available for 100F; tails for 120F.

Videau is quoted in La Figaro that " we want our customers to be part of and
fully appreciative of the entire food chain."

"We are, after all, French and food is a deeply spiritual matter."