Prince Charlie asks whether the reported feeding of contaminated Coke to cows will lead to Sunday dinners that are sweet, high or foul.

The Real Thing

                                                                
 
Prince Charlie



We are currently seeing a threat to all God-fearing Europeans no less
pernicious than the insidious Nazi horde. I am talking about contaminated
cans of Coke that have already sent thousands to the hospitals in France,
Germany, Italy, Slovenia and the Low Countries. It will only be a matter of
time for this evil strikes at the very heart of the United Kingdom. I fear,
if that happens, we will be doomed.

Coke is a triple menace. Not only is it adversely affecting the health of
thousands, but it has forced hundreds of thousands who can't get the banned
product to go into withdrawal. After all, why do you think it's called Coke,
the Real Thing, and a Natural High.

It is my view that America has long sought to dominate Europe through the
trappings of popular culture and badly dressed tourists. That was the public
agenda. The private agenda was to get the nations of Europe hooked on Coke.
And the Americans have largely succeeded. More than a billion cans of this
sweet stuff are sold in Europe each year. Citizens of Belgium drink more
Coke than water. Is it any wonder that this small nation can't seem to
remember whether it speaks Flemish or French. Indeed, Coke is the real
thing.

Bad as all this is, there is an even a greater threat facing the kingdom.
Though Coke has pulled all its product off shelves across Europe, the
company has not destroyed this sweet liquid that ties the stomach in knots
and causes bad breath. Quite the contrary. This multi-national company is
feeding this contaminated product to cows and other farmyard beasts Goodness
knows what will happen to these creatures?

Will our Sunday Roast taste like the real thing? Will it be sweet? Will the
cows on hoof have twisted udders? Will they have bad breath? Will they no
longer go easily to slaughter? This is not an idle question. Our farm
profits took a nose-dive during the Mad Cow affair. We can't afford a repeat
of that. Goodness knows, we can't afford an outbreak of Sweet Cow or High
Cow or even Foul Cow.

For the last century the British have always risen to the occasion. And I
ask you to do so again. Stick to water and organic vegetables. Avoid such
items as Belgium waffles covered with syrup.

Demand from your butcher Old Cow. It's something you can sink your teeth
into.