Pepsi has pulled the rug on the bull ring but there's plenty of meat downstream.

                                                            Talking Bull on
China



Pepsi is getting the short end of the bull stick. The soft drink
manufacturer, which has built a ten billion dollar business by associating
its product with good teeth and firm beach bodies, has found itself at the
wrong end of the bull.

Seems a number of Pepsi shareholders have mounted a campaign against the
company sponsoring bullfights, the original blood sport. The shareholders,
incorporated as SHARK--Showing Animals Respect and Kindness--have been
showing their teeth to the company--and absolutely no respect.

Faced with the prospect that the shareholders meeting would be anointed
with ears, blood, and genitals--the spoils of the ring war--from bulls that
bleed to death under the hot Laredo sun, Pepsi pulled its ads. A corporate
spokesman explained that the company “always considered bullfighting an
art, like ballet, gymnastics, and barrel jumping. We stand with Ernest
Hemingway in appreciating the aesthetics of the sport. However, we are
sensitive to our shareholders and will shift our sponsorships money to
bingo tournaments in the worst minority communities.”

Rather than shutting down SHARK after Pepsi’s capitulation, the
shareholders have targeted other advertisers that sponsor bullfighting.
Corona is on the list. So is Gillette, Viagra, and Chevy seat covers.
SHARK believes these and other sponsors will quickly abandon bull
advertising in face of this negative publicity.

So that battle has been won. But the SHARKers are just beginning to smell
blood. In fact, they want to follow the meat trail, wherever it takes them.
C.W. Omul, Executive Director of SHARK, argues that “we can convince
advertisers not to support a brutal sport, but they are still making money
down stream by putting their names on delicacies like bull, horse or cow in
a can. We’re talking pet food now and, as everyone knows, you can put a lot
of bull in a can.”

Apparently bulls that are artistically put out of their misery in the ring
are destined to be really angry pet food. And here is where the matter
becomes complicated for Omul and his associated who seem to be swimming
against the tide. To get into a can of Cat’s Meow, bulls have to travel to
a meat rendering and processing plant in Kansas City, KS. There it has a
lot of company. The bull meat is mixed with at least 200 tons of dead
Fluffies and Rovers from Los Angeles who are put to sleep every month. In
fact 40% of all euthanized pets are entered into livestock feed which is
fed to bulls, cows, and pigs. So following the movement of the meat is not
as easy as the SHARKers hoped.

However, Omul will not be deterred and is pushing for full disclosure on
every meat product. For example, a nice rump roast readied for Mother’s Day
would have to list all ingredients fed to the cattle, including what went
into the protein pill which gives the beef such huge thighs and killer abs.
A rump roast might contain parts of a beloved pet cat, Queen Elizabeth’s’
darling canary, the deer killed by a 4X4, plus the skunk that dined too
heartily inside the carcass before the road crew dragged their asses to the
rendering plant.

SHARK has vowed to press on despite these obstacles.  One solution is for
Ball Park Franks to list all hot dog ingredients on the scoreboard at games
and above the mirrors in the washroom. Omul has suggested placing a
computer memory chip in larger pieces of meat that would present a spoken
genealogy of the cut when it meets good china. The chip would speak in
English, Spanish and Croatian.

The one million cow brains sold in the US and abroad  annually would simply
identity themselves with a high-pitched, intelligent moo. Brains, of
course, are brain food and little explanation is needed.

Buoyed by its success SHARK plans to embrace the entire ambient universe.
The newest off-shoot organization is SHIRK, with the “I” referring to
insects.

Just in time for summer.