In Switzerland dogs can vote, march, and jaywalk.

                                                           Pets Rock       
                                               


When the Swiss say, “It’s a dog’s life,” they are not complaining. Nor are
the dogs.

The Swiss government is taking the unprecedented step of granting dogs,
cats, marsupials and other pets full citizenship under the law. Pets will
be entitled to all the rights and privileges of a Swiss citizen, including
the obligation to carry weapons and serve in the military, which doesn’t
sit well with French poodles. The German-speaking pet residents of Bern are
thrilled.

What started as a reaction to the common European practice of feeding the
carcasses of deceased pets to cows and pigs--or recycling pets back into
pet food, has become a national priority. Swiss citizens collected one
million signatures for a petition which will almost assuredly pass into
law. This was no mean feat as in many Swiss cantons women are not permitted
to vote or sign petitions. And men, it was thought, would not be
sufficiently sensitive to be moved by the plight of pets.

This prediction was terribly wrong, in part because demographers had
neglected to note that the Swiss families were no longer having children,
and like the population of much of Europe, were taking in pets at a brisk
pace. While Switzerland faces a negative population growth, it enjoys large
increases in pet ownership, especially dogs and cats. 

The proposed legislation, which is expected to be adopted in early 2001,
upgrades the legal status of pets from “domesticate” to citizen.  In short
the pet will be considered a living creature, a soul, rather than an asset.
Pets will be permitted to adopt other pets if they can provide for new
family members.  The law does not permit adoptions across racial or ethnic
lines.

If a pet is mistreated, he or she can take the offending party to court.
Lawyers acknowledge that trying such a case poses challenges but are
confident that animals are sufficiently intelligent to make their case to a
jury.

If a pet is injured in a fight with another pet, the law stipulates that
vet fees are to be paid by the offending party. And pain and suffering will
be considered for the pet and for the people in the pet’s household.
Spading and neutering can only take place with the written, notarized
signature of the animal in question.

Pet owners are particularly thrilled by the provision that will allow them
to give their entire inheritance to a pet or pets that survive.  Moreover,
pets can legitimately have bank accounts and own other financial
instruments. Petstocks.com already caters to the growing clout of the pet
population.

Pets can sign living wills but a doctor must get the permission of the next
to pet kin for medication to be withheld. The Swiss law absolutely forbids
vets from selling pet carcasses to rendering plants for pet food. The law
stipulates that every pet is entitled to a full Christian burial, with
military honors if the pet showed particular bravery or prowess.

Not surprisingly, some Swiss think giving full citizenship to pets is
over-reaching. Members of the European Union are fearful that, with the mad
cow scare and concern about the food supply, other animals such as cows,
pigs, and horses will also be granted citizenship. A movement to formally
adopt cows and grant them legal status has already started in the UK, worst
hit by mad cow disease.  People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals
(PETA), best known for throwing blood at fashion models, have started a
farm animal adoption program. In short the plan encourages citizens to
adopt calves at birth and provide full financial support for their feeding,
lodging, medical care and education. Farmers will be obliged to send
monthly updates of how individual cows are doing. Owners can keep track of
their pet cow by Internet barn and meadow cameras that record every
movement.  Dairy farmers have embraced the PETA program because an adopted
cow over its lifetime generates more revenue for the farm and evens out
year-round cash flow.  

PETA expects the program to rapidly gain in popularity throughout Europe
and the US. “Once consumers realize that almost all the meat they consume,”
says Executive Director Mary A. Jones, “has been readied for market by the
practice of enforced cannibalism--eating their own kind, they will reject
meat in large numbers and embrace this program.”

In Switzerland citizen cows have already started to lobby for better living
and working conditions. Some cows want to move to sunnier climates, such as
Spain. It is this potentiality that most worries immigration officials in
the European Union. “I’m afraid the Swiss have created a terribly precedent
by granting full citizenship to most animals within their borders,”
remarked Kevin O’Donnell of the EU immigration commission. “Now any cow
with a EU passport can work, travel, and breed in any countries of the
Union.  This could lead to the indiscriminate mixing of breeds and the
possible introduction of mad cow disease into virgin regions.”

Nonetheless, Swiss officials are holding their ground. Says Minister of the
Interior Jurgen Jurgen, “We Swiss have received a lot of bad publicity
lately on our handling of human rights. We feel we are on the right side of
the pet issue. Switzerland will again set the example for the rest of
Europe.”

Jurgen points to newly enacted truth in labeling laws that require listing
of any animal parts in products from food to cosmetics. In the future every
box of Swiss chocolates will carry on the package in 16-point type: “No
animal meat, fur, brain, spinal cord, blood or tissue used in this
product.”