Devil Dogs With the rollicking good times over in America, at least for the time being, consumers continue to take on massive debts as they buy SUVs, video cameras and linoleum at a record pace. Comments consumer watchdog Erik Strada, "People must be paving their driveways." It is a well-known fact that the tiny nation of Latvia actually saves more money, per capita, than the US. The same can be said of Iceland, The Falkland Islands, and Madagascar, but few people want to live in these paces. America is an economic miracle because it spends everything it earns. Actually it spends more and that accounts for a "negative savings rate." Consider Japan and Germany, both countries that squirrel away 13.4% of net income. Japan is a basket case and Germany continues to fight high unemployment. Even at 0% interest rate, the Japanese refuse to spend, fearing American teenagers will stop buying play stations. The country lets out a collective sigh of relief when Pokemon and other creatures leap from the pages of Japanese comic books and capture the minds of American children for another season. Even when the American economy cools, the dollar remains strong, dashing the hopes of the French who hoped the new currency would blunt America's advance into Europe. That hasn't happened. Rather, the strong dollar has encouraged McDonalds and other fast food franchises to open new outlets at a record pace in all the capitols of Europe. This development has especially upset protestors of the new world order who complain they don't have enough resources and troops to protest against these incursions. Therefore protestors have to settle for an occasional ransacking or firebombing of a McDonalds. Everyone is grateful that the next economic summit is in Genoa where it will be much easier to targets the fat cats in gondolas while they are making world economic policy. However, every great nation and culture has a Shadow side-the greater the nation, the larger the shadow. On the surface Americans are happy, free spenders whose idea of a big weekend is to shop at K-Marts. The data shows that Americans are getting bigger, buying bigger cars, eating bigger meals, building bigger houses, and demanding bigger seats on Greyhound buses. This is considered a national right: "Bigger is Better." Few Americans are exempt, including immigrants. Within a generation immigrants can proudly claim to be as fat, happy, and optimistic as native born Americans. Naturally Big Americans cast a very large shadow. The physical shadow is obvious enough. What is not so obvious is the financial shadow cast by this happy, carefree bunch. Economists estimate that, collectively, American are sitting on $10 trillions dollars in debt which would be enough to completely cover the bodies of every American in $1 bills. There still would be enough to build a highway of $1 bills to the moon and back. Once that highway is completed, there would still be enough money left to buy a large pizza and a six-pack of Budweiser for every America family, including illegal immigrants-no one is left out of the dream. From a psychological point of view, we usually don't recognize our shadow side. We'd rather blame someone or something. This is why the afternoon talk shows are so popular. They let us blame-and occasionally hit-other family members and friends. As a rule, we want to repress our shadow side because it is probably unpleasant, like body odor. Americans have been repressing the financial shadow for some time by acquiring additional credit cards and "maxing" them out. A study by Data Collection Agency indicates the average America has sixteen credit cards and at any given time of the month, all cards have been used to their spending limits. This has not been a problem because we can always get other cards. And the Federal Reserve lowers interest rates and we buy more, postponing the day of reckoning. But that day seems to be fast approaching as more Americans are declaring bankruptcy as an almost painless way to get out from under debt, wipe their financial slates clean, and start all over again. That has been the exit strategy for hundred of thousands of dead-beat Americans until Dr. Diablo of Venezuelan origin, threatened to show up at their front door. Because they think debt is necessary for the good life and even virtuous, dead beat Americans simply laugh at collection agencies that harass them during the dinner hour. No wonder more debt collectors are in therapy than any other profession-except gravedigger. No one is laughing at Dr. Diablo, an invention of Rodrigo Herrera who claims an 80% success rate in collecting debts, compared to 20% for his counterparts in the states. In Caracas a hot-rod truck outfitted like it had been parked in hell disgorges a devil, a woman in a red miniskirt, and a 400-pouind Great Dane. A lawyer is in tow with an oversized briefcase bearing the words `Deadbeat Collections." The target: a clothing boutique that was not paying its bills. Dr. Diablo, the brainchild of Herrera, a lawyer and advertising executive, threatens, shames, humiliates, and intimidates the target. And it usually works. Dr. Diablo is successful and a celebrity in his own right. His image is on more billboards in Caracas than rock star Fernando Fernando. So successful is he in Caracas that Mr. Herrera is thinking of bringing his service to the states, "where deadbeats are a dime a dozen." He is not troubled by the US Fair Debt Collection Practices Act that bars the humiliation or harassment of debtors. Indeed, residents of some barrios in Los Angeles are already paying their debts in full because they heard Dr. Diablo is on the way. "What I am doing is pure theater," he claims. "I have a truck outfitted like a vehicle from hell. Dr. Diablo is a heavyset lawyer who barely passed the bar exam. The woman in the miniskirt sings like a very young Little Richard. And the only threat from the dog is his breath." "Deadbeat Collections" is already selling franchises for $5,000. For the price you get a devil's mask, a dog leash and a list of Best Business Practices. Dr. Diablo will take a credit card because he "knows where you live." Even before he has formally set up shop in the states Dr. Diablo is complaining people are ripping him off and stealing his concept. Apparently a service in the Bronx called "Death Collections" shows up at the debtors establishment with devil, car, dog and little Richard-and very large guns. No one is laughing, especially not Dr. Diablo who laments that violence-prone Americans are taking the theater out of debt collections. More worrisome to Dr. Diablo is that wealthy American parents are hiring Dr. Diablo as party entertainment for their children in place of the traditional clown. Advertisements for Devil Dogs have already appropriated the theme, music, and costumes of the original "Deadbeat Collections." Fox Television has a "Survivor-like" show in the works and offered Dr. Diablo a cameo appearance. Dr. Diablo got the inspiration for his idea from the 1957 Dana Andrews movie "Curse of the Demons." He already knows what the favorite Halloween mask with be in America this year. Dr. Diablo won't take this mass appropriation of his concept lying down. He is coming to America very soon. With a very Big Dog.
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