- The cow is one animal that continues to feed multitudes long after it has been slaughtered for walking funny.
- Published on Sun, 9 Apr 2000 15:25:41 -0500
- There's a battle brewing between California and Wisconsin over whether a cow is a pet or a piece of farm machinery. Not to mention being on the bad end of a crush video.
- Published on Sun, 9 Apr 2000 15:06:11 -0500
- Famed correspondent Prince Charlie lauds the development of doubled-backed headless swine, suggesting science will yet raise animal theology to a new level.
- Published on Sun, 9 Apr 2000 15:00:00 -0500
- "Bovine banditry"--the practice of using animal names to describe human behavior--takes on meaning both sacred and profane. A noted animal psychologist says the cow is the only way out of our collective existential angst.
- Published on Sun, 9 Apr 2000 14:49:59 -0500
- If you are weary of cow burgers try the French version which is topped with Roquefort cheese and Agen plums. Just don't ask for fries.
- Published on Sun, 9 Apr 2000 14:36:28 -0500
- Famed international correspondent Price Charlie prefers mad cow disease--and bad architecture--to genetically manufactured foods.
- Published on Sun, 9 Apr 2000 14:28:57 -0500
- Al Gore and Leonardo Di Caprio are working together to improve both slaughterhouse conditions and room service.
- Published on Sat, 8 Apr 2000 16:18:26 -0500
- Bessie the cow used to rule the roost as well as the range. Now upstarts like Charlie Tuna and the Maytag repairman are replacing the cow in our national psyche.
- Published on Sat, 8 Apr 2000 16:08:54 -0500
- A naked ladies knitting club is all the rage in Britain, forcing the most unlikely to disrobe in the interest of moss preservation and frog crossing. All the more reason for the local cows to make a fashion statement about the full-figured woman.
- Published on Sat, 8 Apr 2000 15:51:21 -0500
- Having lost the bra war in France, Disney is leaning terribly left in the states. But don't try to date Mickey Mouse.
- Published on Fri, 31 Mar 2000 18:01:31 -0600
- There are 100 million cows in America waiting to be dot comed. Entrepreneurs see the world's zoo population as the next target.
- Published on Sat, 25 Mar 2000 14:22:39 -0600
- Designer diapers for cows are all the rage. Not only do these diapers make for happy cows and tastier meat. They will also improve relations with China and will earn the inventor a Nobel prize.
- Published on Sat, 25 Mar 2000 13:46:48 -0600
- In this Vermont theme park cows don't shit, smell and give birth under the noon-day sun. They will, however, moo and make yogurt on demand.
- Published on Sat, 25 Mar 2000 13:26:33 -0600
- Designer sperm,particulaly the Danish variety is making a comeback, like a fine Fendi bag. Not all of Europe is happy with this development.
- Published on Wed, 22 Mar 2000 10:04:01 -0600
- "Falling down cow" has become the latest, highly-conscious mosh pit prank that gives purpose and meaning to lives not yet touched by astrology.
- Published on Wed, 22 Mar 2000 09:46:40 -0600
- Efforts by a generous Swiss nation to send cows to Kosovo has met with a storm of protest from countries who know something about forced migration.
- Published on Wed, 22 Mar 2000 09:36:03 -0600
- This is an official protest about the naming of a cat--rather than a cow--to head the Monster Raving Loony Party in the UK--and a tomcat for that matter.
- Published on Wed, 22 Mar 2000 09:14:00 -0600
- International Correspondent Prince Charlie considers the importance of good old Anglo-Saxon names when one is running for political office. Bush and Gore stand tall in a bloody semantic brawl.
- Published on Thu, 16 Mar 2000 16:05:36 -0600
- International Correspondent Price Charlie looks beyond all the food scares in Europe to the time Disney will own the heart and soul of Britain, the country in love with Mickey Mouse
- Published on Thu, 16 Mar 2000 15:03:26 -0600
- Dow Chemical got lucky when it discovered Methocel, a slippery slime that holds hundred of food together, including Jell-O and meat pies. Now a British scientist has found a similar elixir in the wretched mad cow dumps that pockmark the English countrysid
- Published on Thu, 16 Mar 2000 14:33:44 -0600
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